Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Game Change - The Letterman Connection
I know this a blog about the creation of Beat the Boss but I just got side-tracked again. If I wasn't mistaken, on the day the book "Game Change" comes out, Sarah Palin is named as a regular on Fox News. In cartoons, this is where you would shake your head and hear b-e-y-o-b-b-i, then blink.
Usually bad publicity hurts your chances. What I first saw on TV was one of McCain's handlers telling stories about Palin's complete lack of American history knowledge. She didn't recognize North and South Korea and couldn't stop calling Joe Biden, Joe Bin Laden. That's why she did the "Can I call you Joe?" line in the debates. In my head I'm thinking, Oh Sarah, there you go again. Then Fox announces her hiring having her join team credible with Newt Gingrich, Glen Beck and company. Shake head, b-e-y-o-b-b-i, blink.
But I see behind this whole scam. It's all about golf. This was all an evil plot by Tiger Woods and his ultra boss, Dave Letterman. When Tiger was an infant, Letterman beat him in a million dollar miniature golf tournament including the windmill shot, Tiger never paid up. With interest, he now owes him 786 billion dollars. This has always been Letterman's plan to cover his infidelity. He knew he could call in his marker someday…today is that day.
From his lair Letterman disassembled late night TV, ruined the life of the world's best golfer and created a Fox political team so ridiculous no one could remember his marital transgressions. You know, it's kind of working.
Picture Dave in his high tech underground communication center reminiscent of 24. Whispering brainiacs in head sets type 80 words a second while he paces back and forth in his glass constructed conference room overlooking his opinion factory. While petting his fuzzy cat he barks out network commands to affiliates controlling American eyeballs manually with a joy stick.
Split screen to Tiger's office / driving range. Dressed in a Nike pimp cape and felt hat he orders his wishes/bitches like pancakes to willing wenches mesmerized by power, grace and half a zillion dollars in old Gillette, Nike, Buick and Accenture funds.
Tiger's no punk, he's not pulling guns like Gilbert Arenas or Javaris Crittenton. Tiger played golf with Rupert Murdoch and he owed him. Because of Tiger's juice, Fox hires Palin as the last payment to an evil Letterman. He gets back at Leno over the The Tonight Show snub, ruins Conan O'Brien and saves his marriage after doing Wilt Chamberlain numbers. He pets his cat with a heavy hand again, accompanied with a guttural, B-W-W-O-O-O-O-HA-HA!